Am I being selfish?

I was molested when I was younger and I also self injure. Start by loving yourself. It will feel good to tell ur family about cutting but they will be scared and possibly upset. So be prepared for their reaction. Take it hour by hour and reward urself when u reach a certain amount of time w out cutting. Stay positive and if u want to talk more message me

i was molested from the age of 2 to the age of 6 by my step sister. she made me do things to her that i thought were very normal and i ended up being ok with it not knowing it was bad. when i hit puberty i had remembered what she woudl ask me to do and i freaked out and started this spiral of mental abuse on myself. I told myself i was gross discusting person and hated myself. I would think about it all day long and nto be able to sleep. Then i turned 13 and my step dad---ie same family---started being inappropriate with me by mentally abusing me controlling me and too touchy feely which made me very weird feeling. He never outright did anything over the line so it was just this abuse for years...through high schoool to college. HE controlled every waking minute of my life, i coudlnt have a boyfriend, go out with friends, eat certain foods, close my bedroom door. I was a very angry teenager and hated him so much. I woud just cry and cry all the time. ALL THE TIME! how i made it without killing myself i am surprised. I finally went downhill in college from him since he was still controlling me adn i ended up with bulimia and in therapy. That helped, i also had PTSD. I went in and out of therapy till 24 and different drugs. I finally jsut said i will overcome this and i did. I do have a shopping addiction whiich stems from this and its super bad. Ive spent thousdands from it and also the bulima is still with me. I Have control issues and that is why i do it. I understand what you are going through and i am so sorry. I wish i was your sister or friend and could talk to you and hang out with you. You are a strong person, you have fought this. Find someone that you feel is your close friend and have them help you. I had my dogs to help me which is sad but they helped me so much. Cutting is an addictino like the shopping for me and the bulmia. Its all the same! its not our fault we dealt with this crap.

Try a book on mindfulness, i am reading it now and its really helping me! you might enjoy it..i also found working out helps and taking some meds help if you tell your doc. They help me a ton but i am pregnant now and no meds so its hard to fight all these crap.

I'm so sorry about what happened to you. You are very strong. I have picked up my guitar more often and I taught myself my favorite song (Love the way you lie...go figure) And consoling in your dogs isn's sad. Animals seem to be the only living creatures that don't judge and won't leave. It has been harder than ever now. My boyfriend broke up with me and all of "our" friends have turned their backs on me. One of my classmates even went as far to say that I act like a five year old and I cut myself for attention. If that were the case then I wouldn't wear long sleeves 24/7... I can't take being judged by people who know nothing about me on a daily basis... It's too much to handle...

I know how you feel, my friends in college used to get mad at me for my struggles and not invite me places with them or just ignore me. I was so upset by this because i wasnt asking for attention i was just really screwed up and needed a friend. It made me mad how they judged me and how their lives were so perfect. They just didnt understnad what its like to have problems and not a happy childhood. I made it a point in my life to never judge someone and to just understnad or try to understand what is goin on with them. I dont know their lives and there could be something dark in it that is making them the way they are. That is very sad that your friends are being that way and if they are then maybe they arent your true friends. I found that i didnt have any true friends and really upset me not having anyone to talk to. THats why i got my dog and really just got comfortable being with myself. You can get through this and you are young so you have several years to fight back. You can do it. Again wish you were my sister i think we would have a lot in common.

I know what you mean. I mean, my ex was such a mess while I was with him. I was always the person to pick him up and help him when he was down... now that we broke up, he's perfectly fine! It's like I don't exist to him anymore, and now I'm the one who's a mess. I actually was contemplating commiting suicide the other day until my brother walked in on me. I can't take that everyone has something to say about me, I just want to cry... Seeing him is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, and sometimes I don't see the point of putting myself through this hurt 24/7...

I started cutting when I was 13 and couldn't stop till I was 26. I'm 30 now and I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
What I mean is - it's an addiction, and even if you "overcome" it for a while you always need to watch out cause it might come back eventually. There's not really a cure for that, but:
You said you wanted to lead a productive life. So find productive ways of "hurting" yourself.
Instead of cutting yourself try sports or going to the sauna, feel the heat burn through you. Donate blood (if it's more for the sight of the blood you hurt yourself than the pain) A friend of mine bought one of these balls for dogs that have plastic spikes all over them. She starts squeezing them whenever she feels stressed. They don't seriuosly harm you and leave no scars/marks.
I wish you all the best and that someday you will be able to overcome hurting yourself for what terrible things other ppl did to you. You deserve so much more!
Best wishes!!

Those are really good ideas! I have a different addiction but that might help me stop my own addiction in a way. Thanks for your post. Thanks for being so nice also. I had a full day of really not nice people and it really bummed me out thinking of how rude some people are and not compassionate. I am 30 as well and have been fighting an eating disorder and shopping addiction for several years. You are strong!